The Etiquette of Peeing in a cup

29th September 2016

Today we had the joyful occasion of visiting St. Georges Hospital for our 28 week appointment. The appointment that promises so much but actually delivers so little but less of that and more of the highlight of our visit.

As always with a midwife appointment we do all the sensible things, pack a bag full of snacks and drinks in case of a long wait, make sure our phone chargers are full, do our research about what we should be asking etc at the appointments and emptying our our bladders for the few stops on the bus.

But like every trip to see the midwives Alice needed to give a pee sample into a cup and like every appointment before we were left wondering if there was enough liquid left in the world to force Alice’s tiny bladder to empty in the next 30 minutes.

30 minutes of expectant waiting turned into over an hour, an hour that reminded us of that episode of friends with Rachel on the delivery ward with a procession of women giving birth before her except our women were not giving birth they were peeing….. peeing into a cup.

With all of this time on our hands and one thing on our minds we decided to discuss the finer points of how its best to pee into a cup. Is there peeing into a cup etiquette?

We thought it best to discuss our chosen method, remembering that you are always supposed to capture your sample mid stream, I confessed that I go with the quick stopping of the stream and then going for a direct hit which never works and logistically is way easier for boys than girls. Alice on the other hand goes for the messier method of getting cup and hand wet and then cleaning up afterwards. Does my method actually count as mid stream and how do you clean up a wet sample pot? Wiping it down just seems too dirty and washing it and then drying it up is the clean option but apparently doesn’t work wonders for the label on the pot?

When your finished do you wrap the specimen cup in toilet roll? Do those who do that have an awful covered pee that needs hiding? Or is something worse being hidden underneath that paper? Is it a generational thing or are we all just as equally inept at how to pee into a cup? If anyone has an answer then please do share with us as we would both love to know.

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